4/12/2023 0 Comments A letter to my addictionI felt lost and unable to control anything that was happening around me. You started taking over my life at the young age of fifteen when I was lost and vulnerable during divorce. If you or someone you know needs help, please call this confidential support line for assistance 84.This is my final goodbye to my addiction to drugs, alcohol, eating disorder, codependency, negative self talk, self hatred, and need to be accepted by others. To start your new life all you have to do is call the number below. Choose recovery and your best years haven’t even happened yet. I want you to know that you are important, you are worthy, you are loved and you have choices- give up, give in or give it all you got. You still think it’s you choosing to get high, but it’s not you. Please know you are not bad, but you are sick. It does not have to break up your home or scar your children. But your disease does not have to end your life. You might even believe you’re destined to live out your days sick and miserable. I pray you step up and do the right thing and if you can’t, don’t be angry at the people who step up and try and do it for you. When the most destructive force in your life is you, it’s time to reach out for help. What if instead of dying from an overdose or withering away from addiction, you lived an amazing life filled with love, laughter and good health? The choices you make today will either save your life or eventually, end it. Nobody wakes up and says, “I’m going to be an addict,” but there is one choice you can make: how long are you going to stay sick? While addiction is not a choice, recovery is. I tell you this because you could be Jim. I don’t tell you this so you will feel sorry for Jim. They will ask themselves “why,” and live with the scars of Jim’s death for the rest of their life. They wonder if Jim’s death was their fault. The hell they’re going through is unimaginable. Jim’s mom can’t stop crying and his dad is walking around with a haunted look on his face. Now Jim’s son is forced to grow up without him. We tell ourselves we will deal with our responsibilities tomorrow. That’s how addiction deludes us and keeps those struggling sick. If Jim thought about his son at all, he likely told himself he’d call him tomorrow. Jim was an awesome guy, who will be missed terribly. Not because Jim was a bad guy because he wasn’t. Jim probably didn’t think about his son as he was getting high. He had probably been thinking about it all day and eventually, he found the means to score. Did Jim ever consider how much he was loved? Did he think about dying that night? Did Jim realize that his last hit, would really be his last? As someone who used to use drugs and alcohol, I doubt Jim thought about dying. I couldn’t help wishing Jim was there to hear it all. You could feel their love for him all the way to the back row – that’s where I was sitting. His family spoke of his huge heart and his infectious smile. They stood up at the podium, with tears in their eyes and shared fond memories of him. In attendance were many of his friends and family. Only the people there weren’t celebrating, they were crying. His celebration of life was last weekend. It lies to you in your own voice, and tells you that overdose won’t happen to you- that’s what it told Jim. It blinds you to reality and doesn’t want you to see how much you are loved. It’s so powerful that it comes first before everything else. Your disease overrides your ability to make healthy decisions, it overrides your love for your family and it overrides your will to live. You think you’re weak-willed and a liar, but you’re not. You promise yourself you’ll quit and then two hours later you’re out getting high again. These emotions allow you to justify your using, which results in feelings of depression and guilt. Addiction twists your thoughts so that you focus on all the negatives- leaving you feeling sorry for yourself, or resentful, hateful and ashamed. These alterations mean you’re not thinking right. Abusing substances has altered the area in your brain responsible for reasoning and impulse control. You think addiction is about drugs and alcohol, but it’s much more complicated than that. If you’re confused by this, it’s because much of what’s happening to you is happening without your understanding. That’s why you can’t quit, even when you want too. It harms your organs and the systems in your body such as your throat, stomach, lungs, liver, pancreas, heart and nervous system. It changes the chemical compound of your brain. However, abusing substance does more than anesthetizing you. Dear Those Struggling With Addiction, With 144 people dying from overdose every day, it’s hard to understand why you continue to use and put your life at risk. A Letter To The Person Struggling With Addiction Lorelie Rozzano is a guest blogger for Vertava Health.
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